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..But every time the topic turns to Lauren's family, I feel a pang ofregret in my stomach. Even though she was apologetic about it (especiallyas she didn't need to be), Lauren was right- every time her father smiledat her or her mother fussed over her, it made me feel jealous, and thenI'd feel rotten for feeling jealous, just leading to a downward spiral ofdepression. If it wasn't for Dr Phillips's advice enabling me to identifythis 'downward spiral', I'd probably be crying myself to sleep tonight.When I wake up, my muscles and joints stiff from a night in a sleepingbag, I force a smile onto my face, though as I see Lauren head down toher kitchen to eat breakfast with her family, the same pangs from lastnight come rushing back. Mrs. McTavish serving me breakfast and treatingme as though I were her own daughter just serves to make the feelingseven worse- if a total stranger can accept me into her home and treat melike family, then surely my own family would be able to do this? The. Marian, the local midwife, worked at the local hospital but did housecalls too. She had been in the job for years and her experience showed.She had delivered all of John and Liz's children to date."Thanks for doing this," said Liz."No problem," said Marian. "Not much you can do in this state." I have the experience," said Liz. "3 times before." Been a while since your last one though," said Miriam, "6 years ago, amI right?" Yes. Michael turned 6 in November," said Liz."Had a little bit of a problem at first with him. But it worked out inthe end," smiled Marian."He was a difficult birth, but as you said, he came out fine," repliedLiz. She didn't want to bring up Michael's gender problem."So, no difficulties concerning the toilet?" asked Marian."None," said Liz. "The commode comes in handy." Ok, I'll be back in a couple of weeks," said Marian. "Don't hesitate tocall if you need anything." Thanks for arranging the help," called Liz as Marian made her way outof the house.Liz wondered.
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